https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog daily 0.75 2025-12-10 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/the-art-of-the-gentle-start-up monthly 0.5 2025-12-10 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/a-therapists-guide-to-feeling-heard-the-gottman-rapoport-exercise monthly 0.5 2025-12-03 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/regulating-in-your-relationship-why-it-matters-especially-in-moments-of-conflict monthly 0.5 2025-11-18 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-understanding-and-healing-relationship-patterns monthly 0.5 2025-11-11 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/how-to-prepare-for-the-holidays-tips-from-a-relational-therapistnbsp monthly 0.5 2025-11-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/1762368246572-1WMS1V5BNNUL5OA826IU/unsplash-image-87-gzB1Rc4Q.jpg Blog - How to Prepare for the Holidays: Tips from a Relational Therapist  - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house-and-how-can-it-strengthen-your-relationship monthly 0.5 2025-10-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/0c524df6-a811-481e-a948-c77a7d285fd4/Screenshot+2025-10-30+at+11.03.45%E2%80%AFAM.png Blog - What Is the Sound Relationship House and How Can It Strengthen Your Relationship? - Make it stand out Sound Relationship House created by Dr. John Gottman, of The Gottman Institute. https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/mindful-walking-an-accessible-form-of-bilateral-stimulation monthly 0.5 2025-10-15 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/understanding-your-window-of-tolerance-and-how-to-expand-it monthly 0.5 2025-10-08 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/what-is-premarital-counseling-and-topics-you-might-cover-in-sessions monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/living-in-alignment-why-our-values-are-important monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/4ien1c7t47b6i9kfc1sitg9s7p4zq4 monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/coping-skills-whats-in-your-mental-health-toolkit monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/love-maps-how-to-connect-with-your-partner monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/how-hobbies-helped-me-heal-from-a-washington-state-therapist monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/relationship-questions-and-why-you-should-ask-them monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/feeling-your-feelings-a-guide-to-emotional-processing monthly 0.5 2025-11-06 https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew-2dprb-6yt9n-j8rzz-f2zfg-mlsne monthly 0.5 2025-06-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/8d802fcf-ea4b-4af6-ad19-866059e90fa7/Connect8+%281%29.png Blog - Grounding During Uncertainty - Make it stand out There is much suffering and uncertainty in the world. Existing in this geopolitical climate is painful and overwhelming. Being overwhelmed is activating, and can put us in a fight-flight-freeze-fawn state. This is normal and an effort for your brain to keep you safe in a state of stress. I wanted to take this week to offer some low barrier grounding and regulation tools for folks who are feeling understandably dysregulated. Reach out to your community – Community care is a powerful tool, as is co-regulation. Check in on your friends and family, make space for all of your feelings, and try to ground yourself in this act of giving and receiving care for those important to you. Accessible nervous system regulation Breathing: Two short inhales through the nose to fill the lungs, one long audible sigh out of your mouth. This can help maximize oxygen input, lower your heart rate, and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for calming you down in a stress response). Do it a few times in a row before returning to a more natural breath pace. Cold Water: Plunge your face into ice cold water. Applying cold water to the face can also activate the parasympathetic nervous system. You can also cold plunge if that’s your thing! I will also keep an ice cold glass of water with me during the day to keep hydrated, as well as taking a quick mindful moment to feel what the temperature change is like as I drink. Stretching: Give yourself 10-15 minutes to do a full body stretch, really focusing on the bodily sensations you are feeling. Notice what it is like to feel each muscle group tense and relax as you progress. Get the blood moving and get back into your body for a few minutes. Walking: With a friend, with some music, whatever floats your boat. A change of scenery, fresh air, and low-impact movement is an opportunity to reset. For my brain nerds, walking is a way to experience bilateral stimulation, a key component of EMDR. Humming/singing: These are also two ways to stimulate the vagus nerve to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Take a deep breath and let out a low hum, sing your favorite song. Dancing, jumping, shaking: Have you ever watched Nat Geo and wondered why a Gazelle is shaking its body after escaping the Croc in the watering hole? Shaking is a way that animals release stress and tension, completing the stress response cycle before they go back to grazing. So, move! Shake it out, dance around your kitchen, jump up and down. Give this energy a place to go, and help move it around. Try not to demonize or pathologize our brains, bodies and spirits doing the best they can. While regulation isn't a fix for systemic trauma, it is important to show ourselves and others care when we have the capacity. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. ___ #therapy#growth#heal#connection#counseling#progress https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew-2dprb-6yt9n-j8rzz-f2zfg monthly 0.5 2025-06-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/4ce0c35e-7e28-49a2-acef-9530c7d6b797/connection7+%281%29.png Blog - Values Based Actions - Make it stand out Often, in my work and in my life, I find myself reflecting on how living in accordance with our values influences how we feel about ourselves and the choices we make. There are many things outside of our control that impact us. Using values based actions is a way to conceptualize what we can do. Our values can become a compass in chaos -- helping us discern our next move. Take some time to reflect on what values you can identify. Do you value care and community? Creativity? Friendship? Once you have an idea of your internal landscape, ask yourself how these show up for you. Maybe your value of community shows in how you care for those in your life? Identifying and highlighting how we show up can help us to develop a compass -- one that may guide you to a more authentic self. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. ___ #therapy #growth #heal #connection #counseling #progress https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew-2dprb-6yt9n-j8rzz monthly 0.5 2025-06-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/9226f6d7-c5ea-4401-a331-75f241fc163d/connect6.png Blog - Why Does This Promote Connection? - Make it stand out Now that you have an idea of what connection feels like for you, and some places that bring about this feeling, think about why. What is it about your best friend that makes you feel most like yourself? What is it about the ocean that gives you such a warming through your chest? Why does a certain song or book or movie speak to you the way it does? When we notice and investigate, we begin to parse out the why. Maybe your favorite people all share similar values that feel accessible to you when you are with them. Your favorite movie may speak to parts of you that leave you feeling seen. Maybe you notice an absence of this feeling in some spaces -- what's missing for you there? If we can highlight what circumstances lend themselves to feel this connection, we can bring that awareness into other spaces of our life. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. ___ #therapy #growth #heal #connection #counseling #progress https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew-2dprb-6yt9n monthly 0.5 2025-06-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/1749145279403-O8URXF0NG00WN3D7PD6W/connection+6.png Blog - Practice Developing your Sense of Connection. - Make it stand out How do we begin to sense when we are feeling "connected?" One way to develop this sense is to practice this quick exercise. Slow down and notice what is happening for you in your brain, body, and spirit when you reflect on these experiences. Maybe you get a warming feeling washing over you? Maybe a lightness in your chest? Noticing this experience gives you some evidence to develop your own personal gauge. Carry this internal gauge with you as you move through your day -- start to take stock of what is bringing up this sensation, and what isn't. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. ___ #therapy #growth #heal #connection #counseling #progress #mindfulness https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew-2dprb monthly 0.5 2025-06-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/6592ac03-0414-4dc3-92c2-d2e5ed91bc97/connection+5.png Blog - Building Rituals for Self-Trust. - Make it stand out Building up our relationship to ourselves is very similar to how we nurture our other relationships. What if we honored ourselves with same intention and care we extend to our friends. It's very easy to break these internal promises. Something that seems more important comes up, someone we love needs us, or we just don't feel like it. I get it, I do. But if we want to show ourselves we are trustworthy -- that we will do the things we say we will do -- we have to show up. Building this trust signals that we can tend to ourselves in a kind and consistent way. So how do we do that? Just start showing up. Make time for yourself and do something small that you enjoy. A daily walk with your favorite music or sitting outside with a cup of coffee are great places to start. you deserve consistent care. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. ___ #therapy #growth #heal #connection #counseling #progress #restisradical https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky-awmew monthly 0.5 2025-05-28 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/2be65c46-9da7-4183-8064-7cfdeae0412d/connection+3.png Blog - Subtle Ways we Avoid our Internal Experiences - Make it stand out Building off of last week, let's take another look at avoidance. It's normal to want to push away negative experience, especially when they feel particularly intense or activating. While this tactic may work for a while, it also requires a lot of energy, making it unsustainable over time. The cost of turning away from ourselves in difficult times can impact other parts of our life as well, such as our relationships to others, our ability to regulate our emotions, or dulling other emotional experiences -- even the good ones. If we want to connect more fully with ourselves, that means sitting with the unpleasant as well. Opening ourselves to what we are looking to ignore can help improve our ability to deal with difficult experiences in the future. As with any skill, it takes time to turn towards yourself. Start small and offer yourself support along the way. Name what might be coming up for you, sit with it, and let it pass at it's own pace. In the meantime, dive into self-care and support from those you trust. Being a human can be hard, but we got this. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4-x2yky monthly 0.5 2025-05-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/e35698d6-3067-408c-ad64-509b61184c67/connection+2.png Blog - Noticing Avoidance - Make it stand out Part of reconnecting to yourself and others is recognizing avoidance. Our mind and spirit is resourceful and always trying to keep us safe. One way we do this is by turning away from discomfort, to spare us from the impact it may have. Without a pressure to confront or address, ask yourself if there is anything you might be avoiding. You do not need to fix it, just notice that it is there. We may be avoiding a difficult conversation with someone, ignoring a stressful task, or pushing away a painful feeling. Can you just notice what is there? Say "hey" to it and let it exist. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does not substitute or provide mental help. https://www.fenandfircounseling.com/blog/blog-post-title-one-cj39s-YEbA4 monthly 0.5 2025-05-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67ca142377b2f862f6e9e1a5/c37fd9e4-4914-4cca-8dd6-c31afd95c581/Connect+1.png Blog - Call for Connection - Make it stand out Small steps can lead to big changes. To begin building connection with yourself, open up awareness. What do you notice? Recognizing that some of these answers may hold pain or discomfort, practice listening to yourself. Without the urge to change or solve, just notice. As you wrap up your check-in, you can offer yourself some small support. Maybe what you need is a stretch, a deep breath, a hug, or a snack. While none of these are going to miraculously change your way of being, this small gesture is a way to practice self-attunement -- listening to your cues and responding with supportive action. ___ Disclaimer: this post is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. 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